Still on the couch with this stupid ankle so haven't been doing much training wise which is absolutely killing me. I am trying to hard to stay positive and focused on the things I can do but some days I just can't do it. I'm starting to freak out about putting fat back on. I'm really concerned that I won't shed the 9 kilos of fat that I promised myself I would shed by the end of this 12 week challenge. Right now I'm sitting here about to cry because I'm just so disappointed in myself.
I've also noticed that I'm starting to fall back into the old routine that I had when I lived in Newcastle while DH was in Singleton. I'm not sleeping, I stay at home (which can't be helped due to my stupid ankle) and I spend waaaaaay too much time on the computer. I'm glad that I have noticed it now before it became a massive problem like last time.
On a good note though, I have been spending a lot of time just chilling with my furbabies. Today we all had an afternoon snooze at the same time. Puppy on her inside bed at the foot of the lounge and Kitty on top of the lounge near my head. It might seem weird to some people but I thought it was really sweet. I don't have human children of my own to love so I love my furbabies instead. God knows how they are going to cope when I go back to work though... I guess we'll just cross that bridge when we come to it. I also went and did a glamour photography session on Saturday. Angela and Jackie did such an amazing job, I can't believe that it's me in the sneak peek photos! It couldn't have been timed better either. Just when I was starting to feel gross and ugly I have been given this absolutely HUGE boost! Here's one of the two that have been put up:
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| A massive thank you to Angela from Grace Makeup and Jackie from Sullivan Portraits for this beautiful picture. |
One of the only shows I watch on 'normal' TV came back yesterday evening and for once I can actually fully understand how the contestants feel. I'm talking about The Biggest Loser. I was absolutely shocked to see that a girl 10 years younger then me is only 10 kilos heavier... Talk about a wake up call! While I am perfectly aware that the scales don't account for much since they don't tell you how much is fat and how much is muscle, it still bothers me to be where I am especially after training so long and so hard. Another thing that bothers me is the reaction some people have to this show. When Brett got on the scales and was told that he was officially the biggest competitor, someone said "Shouldn't they just say you are officially the fattest fatty in Australia." I don't think I've ever been so disgusted in my life! I find it hard to get on the scales with only my trainer looking, they thought of doing it on NATIONAL TELEVISION makes me want to throw up with fear! I think it's brave and admirable to get up and do something like that no matter what your reasons for doing it are. I tell you what though I would totally do anything The Commando says (within reason lol) Tonight's episode was the first training session for everyone. I had a little bit of a giggle because it reminded me of my first session with DRok. While D wasn't a mean hard ass like Michelle, Shannan and the Commando, I do remember being made to go so hard on that stupid rowing machine I nearly threw up! Seems I have come a long way since those days although I honestly don't feel like I've lost as much as I should've...
I have joined the shows site and have made a promise to myself. I plan on losing 10 kilos of fat by the end of June and I have promised not to give up on myself. So no matter what life throws at me I am going to have faith in myself and my ability to achieve my goals. Keep your fingers and toes crossed and watch this space!
