A moment of craziness

Every now and again I hit a bump which sends me flying into crazytown.
Tonight has been one of those nights... It all started with me cracking it over getting more protein. I have been trying to get protein through the new setup on Facebook and it just hasn't been working. So my trainer gave me another option which is simple but I have cracked it because noone will give me a 100% guarantee that it will arrive by next Friday (which is totally understandable to a normal reasonable person but cranky Ness wants a GUARANTEE especially after the stuff around last time) So I look online to see if there is anyway I can get the protein I get from a store that isnt online.. Of course I cant which makes me even grumpier. So I go onto one of the defence partners fitness groups on Facebook to see if I can get what I want from the site all the ladies on there go to.. I scrolled through months and months of posts of ladies who have made amazing progress in such short time, one lady can do 325 kilos on the leg press, and they all look absolutely AWESOME!!! Definately doesnt help the grumpy mood or my self esteem.. Then the voice starts going on.. "You've worked your f**king ass off, you have been so good and strict with your nutrition, you have pushed your body through so much pain and for what? A little bit of shrinkage that isnt even that amazing... These girls look absolutely fabulous and havent trained as long as you... AND they are still having high energy carbs!" and the next thing I know I am thinking about just giving all my training up (which is hilarious given my previous post  and the fact that I'd probably die of training withdrawals) and crying my eyes out. Please keep in mind that this is only ONE of the stresses that has contributed to me being in such a crazy emotional state. I am pretty sure that I'm starting to get sick (although my body is fighting hard)  my nose is runny (although that may be from the crying) my face is burning and my throat is a little bit sore, I'm freaking out about the Dexa scan,  I am worried about my training and how I have not been able to smash it the last two sessions,I'm absolutely terrified of not meeting my new goal in the two year time limit,  (dont laugh at this one) running out of protein because I just freak out when I run out, a few things at work, Mum2 and pixie (cause I am worried about what this is doing to mum2 and I love Pixie dearly), not being able to sleep properly once DH leaves going away again and just being overwhelmed from all the extra housework I have to do now DH is home... Then on top of that I have three assessments due in the beginning of Sept to finish my cert 3 in Children's Services which I am freaking otu about failing. If I dont mean the deadline I'M SERIOUSLY F**KED!!!
*deep breath out*
In the hour and a half I have been locked in my computer room I have cried three times. I am thinking of going to bed and sleeping so I can see if I feel better in the morning. I feel like a bit of a raving loony right now but frankly my dear I dont give a damn. Noone is perfect and everyone has their loony moments. I'm just extremely open with mine.
I'm going to go order my protein the way my trainer told me to because it's just the easier option. If I dont get it by next Friday I will go steal a car and cut the heads off the people who have caused the delay. (I really like my protein lol) I have enough protein from Hawaii to see me through a couple of days and I can always pick up some temporary stuff from the same store here... 
Night all keep on carrying on 
Oh and I'll end this on a happy note!!

Big congratulations to Kand C on the birth of their very beautiful baby girl!!! I'm so happy for you both and couldn't think of two people who truly deserve to have their biggest dream fulfilled... 
And a massive congratulations to my brother from another mother B on his engagement to his lovely lady... It's such a pleasure to see and hear how happy finding the love of your life has made you. I can't wait to see you and meet your fiancee!!!