You've come a long way babe....

I'm still here! Just plodding along getting myself together and trying to get back on track.
I am doing a lot better since my last entry. I still feel sad about everything and the few things that have happened since but I am so blessed to have been sent so many rainbows to chase away the dark clouds.
I have been keeping in touch with a lot of the paternal side of my family and I am working on my relationships with relatives I wasn't so close to beforehand. I have been in regular contact with my Uncle (who I saw for the first time since I was a little girl the day before Nana's funeral) and my Aunties as well as my brother and biological father. I have learned so much about the other side of my family and it's been really good to discover the other half of my heritage.
Work is going well. I have a very interesting and challenging class that keep me on my toes! I am happy with the other educators in my room (who I love and am very close to). We have our moments but the best part of a journey is the bumps in the road. It gives me the chance to grow and learn. Tomorrow we have parent-educator information night for my class and I am sweating bullets about getting up in front of people and talking. I have a fair idea of what I want to say, I just hope that I can say it eloquently and not nearly break my ankles as I tend to do when public speaking.... Send some good vibes my way please!
I had my birthday the other week. I honestly planned on staying home alone and moping but that was not the case. My frienmily threw me a surprise birthday bbq on the Friday as C couldn't be there Saturday and on my birthday we had a family bbq again. I was showered with so many lovely well wishes, videos,cards, calls and messages. My father even skyped me. The best was talking to my Mum and Dad though. They always bring out the big rainbows. I was very spoiled too. My brother R bought me two very beautiful Pandora beads for the bracelet he, Mum and Dad gave me a few years ago. My brother J sent me an awesome card that was so me, my father and step mother gaveme a beautiful soft bathrobe in my favourite colour, Mum and Dad gave me an away Panthers jersey (the last pink one ever!!!!) and my wifey and lady love gave me a QUEENSLAND PANTHERS MEMBERSHIP!!!! I could go on and on about my birthday, but I won't. Suffice it to say that I am so truly grateful to have such wonderful and beautiful people in my life!
Training is going ok. I really need to knuckle down with planning and nutrition! That is my goal for the next 12 weeks as well as getting back on track with my Intense Cardio. The fat won't melt away just lifting weights!
Over the last week I have been reflecting on how far I have come with the way I deal with my anxiety and depression. A few years ago I can guarantee you that there is no way I would have dealt with everything life has thrown at me that way I have and I certainly wouldn't be how I am now. I have my dark moments. But instead of clinging to them and allowing them to drag me down, these days I keep on going and look ahead for the rainbow. I have finally found a way to turn on the light!  I have a few friends at the moment who aren't doing so well and I remember what I was like when I was in the stage they are in now. If you are reading this (you know who you are) just keep on going. While there might be a million reasons for you to be sad there are a million and one for you to smile. I am one of them. Keep holding on and remember there are so many people who love you and you give them a reason to smile. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

For all the wonderful people who have been the glue that held me together, the bearers of rainbows, the light in the dark, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you for never giving up on me, for giving me a hand up whenever I fell, for making me laugh when I wanted to cry. Thank you for helping me heal. thank you for loving me enough to never give up on me. I love you!!! xxx
Anyway I best be off. I need an early night and would like to spend some time with my furbabies while watching Adventure Time to wind down. Until next time :)