Just keep swimming

Who would've thought that the random song of a blue fish would be something to motivate me???
Measurements today. No DEXA (thank god, as accurate as it is I still hate the bloody thing) just tape measure.
As wonderful as D-Rok is when it comes to measurements (I do put up a bit of an arguement) I still dont feel as good as I should. Today I found out that in the last 5 weeks and I have lost 9cms all over my body bring the total up to 53.5cm since Oct. Now that is an awesome achievement but if  I'm completely honest part of me feels like it's not good enough. I have worked my ass off, changed my eating habits and have pushed myself beyond what I have ever been to try and reach my goal and I feel like I'm just not doing enough.
now I know that I will eventually look back on this and think to myself "You crazy bitch are you INSANE!?!?!" but this is what I'm thinking now so dont judge me too harshly. It isnt easy to see how the things you have done have changed you dramatically when you compare yourself to others who get massive weight loss especially with 5 weeks left until I need to hit my goal.... Granted they're going for the first easy and quick fix but when the scales are the same for 3 rounds you start to wonder if scales are actually even worth it... (Which they aren't. In my opinion scales are useless pieces of crap that dont account muscle gain or even weight of muscle. So whats the point? This is why I do the DEXA)
This does not mean I give up! F**k that why come so far and work so hard just to give up? This little black duck doesnt give up (well anything thats good for me anyway).. Like Dory says "Just keep swimming swimming swimming" so swim I'm going to. I'm going to swim so fast Thorpedo will nothing in comparison! There is nothing I want more then to stroll down Waikiki beach in a bikini with a sexy hot bod!!! My food has been really good with my compliance for the first 3 weeks being 80-85% Week 4 and 5 were 90-100% (Dont bother asking cause I'm not telling. I will say that i am extremely proud!)
Anyway enough measurement talk, Friday I had an awesome back session with D-Rok. He had me doing this exercise that will eventually lead into me doing actual chin-ups!  So that is on the list of many awesome things I want to be able to do. I think Back sessions would have to be my favourite after Legs although I like all of the back exercises, with legs I absolutely detest the stupid split squats (which I had an interesting lot this evening)
Saturday was an ICE session with the Iceman. Absolutely INTENSE!!! Absolutely loved the boxing although I wouldve loved to have belted him everytime he made me do that goddamn stair run. We finished up with some shuttle runs, sling shot (which was absolutely AWESOME!!! So much fun!) and hill sprints. By the end of it my heart rate was insanely high and my legs were over running.
Sunday was 'rest' day and by 'rest' I mean Less Intense Activity. I walked about half an hour to the shops and did my grocery shopping during which I received a phone call from DH. He's doing well and thriving, I cant believe today has been exactly three months since he left. I am so proud of both of us, him for being there and me for getting through it despite the attacks and lack of support from 'family' (and I use that term extremely loosely)
Today I started off Week 6 with an absolutely smashing legs session! I am so proud of being able to do 30 kilo b/bell squats without too much trouble. I am also 50 kilos off my double leg press goal! It's all happening here!! Unfortunately during split squats I pushed too hard and the lack of sleep and low blood sugar got to me a tiny little bit. Thank god I have a high quality trainer who stopped me and made me an awesome shake to get me up and going. 
Tomorrow will be boxing at Newstead with the lovely Linda, Here's hoping its not too cold! 
Anyway I best be off, furkids to feed, lunches and uniforms to get ready.. I'll leave you with my update progress photos... Remember to just keep swimming!!!!

Very quick and brief...

OMG! I have nearly finished week 5!!! 
This week is a BIG week.. I started with a massive legs session on Monday. I honestly didnt want to do legs, but I couldnt think of any excuses tp get out of it, not that D would accept them. No excuses is part of the mantra...
Tuesday saw me doing a boxing ICE session at Newstead Park with the lovely Linda... Linda has been a Prestige Lifestyles for a week or two so I was honestly curious and a little worried about how the session would go, not because I thought it would be bad, I was terrified she'd be a massive hardass!  It was a really good session, I didnt swear anywhere as much as I normally do but I have discovered how much I suck at skipping and how I DETEST SITUPS!!!  I did enjoy the session, it was awesome to be trained by a female and experience a different style of training.. I look forward to next Tuesday (and the gloves Linda have a really cool!!!! Theyre like blue camo  I think I couldnt see very well as it was dark and I am running on 3 hours average of sleep a night.)
Last night I dragged my exhausted stupid ass to the studio in full Blue for the pre-origin group circuit session run by D-Rok and Isaac. How I got through it I do not know. I'm still trying to figure out how the hell I got through the bench press with Isaac putting resistance on it. It's hard trying to keep your abs braced, elbows out, chest up, chin up and good form while a massive kiwi is pushing it down! I got home at about 11 and crashed on the computer keyboard! Woke up went to bed to 'lie down' for 10 mins before prepping everything and woke up an hour later! I wound up just setting my alarm and getting everything together this morning.
 Today was Chest. Didn't feel last nights effort until I started working out today, thanks Isaac :P
My right hand was stinging as I had scraped some of my knuckles punching the bag during the circuit last night without my wraps so it was even more fun!  Lifted two more kilos then last week apparently but TBH I couldnt really tell. While we were bench pressing my mind was on doing all the stuff I'm supposed to and how hot I wanted to look for Hawaii, Granddad's wedding  and the Burlesque party so I guess I didnt have the energy to think about the weight... Wasnt happy with the dumbbell exercises but I hate them anyway. I found on  the last rep of the single lift everytime I would find it extremely hard to push it back up. I've asked D to say it's the second last one next time just to test out a theory I have.
Tomorrow is Back. Because I have gone up to just over 80% compliance foodwise we are now doing three FIRE sessions a week (which is why I'll be boxing with Linda on tuesdays..) I'm a little excited abnout tomorrow as I dont mind the weight exercises for back... Saturday will be group with Isaac... I'm looking forward to being pushed to the max just before girth measurements.. (BOO!) Not sure how I'm feeling about measurements. I'm trying to go in with really low expectations so I'm not disappointed. Oh well I'm sure it'll be good, a loss is a loss and as far as I can tell I havent gained. 
I better go. I have an excursion with my class tomorrow (so excited!) and I am actually really tired. 
Before I go I would like to ask a few questions:

1. What motivates you? What gives you the drive you need to work as hard as you do for the results that you want?

2. What makes you happy?

I'll answer these in my next post.. Ciao for now!

Week 4 done and nearly dusted

Holy Moly are the weeks going fast or what!?!? I am nearly finished with week 4! FOUR!!!!! Nearing the halfway point and coming so so close to my deadline for my goal!!!!!

Did an ICE session today that absolutely SMASHED me!  I've never been pushed to the point of wanting to just stop like that before. This week has been a massively stressful week with the mock accreditation at work, my study and not hearing from my DH (but I'm not going to go anywhere near that it makes me too all over the place LOL)
The week started with an awesome FIRE session on the legs on Monday.. Smashed those stupid split squats AND got to do the double leg press again!! WOOOHOO!!!   Although I was struggling to remember why on earth the leg press is one of my favourite exercises..... Aiming to hit that 200 kg goal one day though, just need to work on the form and keeping it on the heels. My glutes were absolutely killing me on Tuesday! 
Tuesday's session had been postponed due to Steve Wakelam's launch of his training services in Toowoomba. For those of you who are lucky to live in the area I highly recommend that you contact Steve and get him training you. While I havent been trained by Steve I have attended information sessions where he has presented and have seen him training and he is awesome. His email is Stephen_wakelam@hotmail.com I'm sure he'd be more then happy to email you more info. I dont do mobile numbers on the internet so email him!
Anyway back to it, Tuesday was postponed so I had two straight days of rest which was needed and appreciated! Yesterday saw me doing an absolutely fabulous FIRE session on the chest. It seems that being angry helps me with my bench press form and I lifted 2 kilos heavier with no probs... Could also be the fact that I'm just frikkin awesome :)  By the end of it my arms back and chest were like swearing at me..  Despite that, I left feeling extremely happy and am so grateful to have such an awesome trainer like D-Rok (even though he made me run up those frikkin stairs an extra time because I cheated...)
Tomorrow will see me in the morning at the park for the usual Saturday ICE session with the Iceman himself. Here's hoping I dont have to do push ups as my abs hurt for two days last time. Not a helpful thing when youre trying to run 4ks either! But in the end if the pain means I get to wear that bikini in Hawaii then it's worth it! 
I have been working really hard on getting my food right and have even got a routine of cooking going. ATM my favourite meal would have to be my Chicken, carrot, cheese and chive omelette and my Morroccan Chicken and Salad... And my pumpkin soup!!!!  Who am I kidding, I've turned into this insane eating machine! I find it funny how only 8 months ago I only ate 3 meals a day and hated things like pumpkin and raspberries. Now I eat at least 5-6 meals a day (including liquid meals) and pumpkin and carrot are my favourite vegetables and I looooooooooooooooooooove blueberries, raspberries (I got through at least 2 kilos a week of them) and apples... Pink Ladies are my absolute fave and I go through them like water! (Im eating one now!)

 I am also pleased to announce that I wont have to cut my nails!!!! I know that sounds totally irrelevant but you  see, my nails are so long that whenever I was doing weights they would dig into my palms so bad I am surprised I didnt bleed. I tried to cut them I really did but I just couldnt bring myself to do it... So I bought gloves! I also bought new runners as my beloved pink Nike Structures have been worn to the point of exhaustion... Now I know they are just shoes but I would have to say that they are my all time favourite pair of shoes... I would totally put them above my boots that I bought when I first got with DH and I was devestated when they broke! I have a pair of white with blue trim and pink tick Lunarglides.... Theyre ok I guess.... I'll grow to love them I'm sure but they will suffice until I hit Hawaii anyway!
Well I best be off. Got to prepare my stuff for my omelette for breakfast and shakes and what not for group.I'll leave you with this Winston Churchill Quote I got from Facebook.....

Hope you all have an amazing weekend! x

Mothers Day Classic 2012

Soooooooooo I've had a few emails asking how I went with the Mothers day classic.... I'm a little hesitant to write this and put it out there for the world to see but I am my harshest critic so I dont suppose it can get any worse.
I didnt  reach my goal of 30 minutes. The official time was 33:23 but my Nike + ipod app says 32:10. I started the Nike app before I crossed the start line. I dont know which one to believe but if I go by Nike then I missed my old time by 2 seconds. 1 minute 15 isnt bad either, just a little disappointing.  The positive tothis is I didnt FAIL as such. I struggled to get through the first 2 ks of the run. My legs were killing, my shins felt like the bone had  steel rod through them which I think was caused by my need for new shoes and the ICE session the day  before.  I really shouldnt have argued with D-Rok when he said "Dont go to group on Saturday." Unfortunately I am addicted to my Saturday group sessions. If I dont go I dont feel right and it throws off my whole day.
So I struggled through wanting to sit on the side of the road and give up but continuing because 1. I had done it before in worse shape and 2. I thought that Jazza and Isaac were there and knowing my luck they wouldve seen me give up. There is nothing worse then disappointing people who truly believein you. and 3. I have so many reasons for doing it, one being that I wanted to beat my goal so badly. I snapped myself out of it and did the same trick I did last time. I promised myself once I hit a certain point I'd walk. When I got tp that point,my legs didnt hurt so bad so I kept going. Before I knew it  I was more then halfway and found I had lot more to give. So I stepped it up in the hopes of making up for the loss of the first 2 ks. I kept thinking of my Nana and how proud she wouldve been to see me running like I was. I thought of my friends Anna and Katie who did th 8 k in 2010 and yelled out words of encouragement whn they saw me. I thought of my nearest and dearest and what they would say if they were there.
That, AC/DC, Rammstein and the last sign gave me the motivation and energy to run to the end. As soon as I saw the finish  line I gave it everything I had. I sprinted from just before the end of the tunnel over the finish line. As soon as I crossed the line I felt so overwhelmed I nearly cried. I couldnt believe I had finished the 4k Mothers Day Classic AGAIN!  Especilly after no running traiing for god knows how long! 
So thats how it went.  I'm disappointed about my time but  I'm also so proud of myself for running through that pain and giving it all I had to cross that line. Theres always next year to beat my time! 
I have to cut this short, I have to be up in 4 hours 20 minutes for work....
I'll write tomorrow about todays session and other things.... 
Night! xoxo

Week 3 day 2

I seriously think my legs are going to fall off!! LOL... Started Sunday with a 4k  run because I plan on doing the Mothers Day classic in a faster time then last time... Not overly excited with my times but couldve been worse... Seriously the stupidest idea I ever had was to run that farthe day before a legs session...  Smashed the split squats (WOOO! Was a little worried I wouldnt be able to do them after last weeks effort... Starting to think the voice in my head conspired with the nasty leg monsters) and went up on the single leg press.. Legs were sore before bed so I had a fair idea what I was in for today...
Woke up, legs were fine. Went to work legs started to hurt. Then came the ICE session. Shuttle Runs (dum dum Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!) I will never EVER complain about the shuttles the Iceman makes me do EVER again! His are intense but they are lovely and short and possible to sprint. DRok seems to think I can sprint like an olympian or something!  I gave it what I could. My legs were screaming at me, the voice in my head was telling me to just lie down and give up and I was telling myself that not only was I going to do it I was going to do it without throwing up! I swear at one stage I thought my heart was poundingin my head and was attempting to jump out of my throat! Should you have been one of the few people who walked past during my ICE session I do apologise for the language. I'm not a bogan it was just the only way I could get it out and feel that little bit better!!
The best part of todays session apart from the company, quality training and interesting conversations? EATING AFTERWARD!!! I went to Ginga and ate a massive bowl of chicken teriyaki with vegies (I still hate broccolli. I did try though!) and  half  achicken teriyaki sushi roll.  I had one and a half with my protein shake back at the studio waiting for Satisha to do her session...
Well Im tired... Ive been up since 4am  I'm tired and have to get up early tomorrow morning to make myself some yummy omelette for breakfast! (New food  addiction)
I will try to post a more interesting post tomorrow. I might even post my DEXA scans and see what you think of the results.... Lets see how brave I feel.... Night! x

A bit of a personal post....

Trying to beat my misery,Don't wanna go across the sea,
And if I could take you everywhere,There'd be no cause for my despair,
And I know we won't touch for months,And your smell will evade me,
But our love could survive a war,Without the slightest sore,
I know you suffer for my art,Always pulling us apart,
Your forever in my brain,Even when I cause you pain,
And I know I can't taste your skin,With an ocean between us,
But our love is a dinosaur, Hear it roar -Dinosaur Kisschasy

 I thought I'd have a little vent instead of smiling and pretending that all is wonderful in the world because while it is every other day today isnt one of those days.... So for the first time in just over two months I had a mini meltdown for no good reason... Well it wasnt for no good reason, I just let the feeling of loneliness wash over me and win. (BIG mistake)
People have been telling me that I'm brave and strong but if thats the case then can someone please explain why I sat on the floor of my shower this morning and cried like a little kid or why this afternoon I curled up in my bed and bawled like nothing else? Doesnt seem too brave or strong to me... 
I guess what set it off was having an absolutely amazing weekend with my sister in law. We are quite close, I actually consider her MY sister and not DH's. It's been the first time I have been around family since he left and it just felt so good to be around someone who I didnt have to wear my mask for. It was nice to be able to talk to someone face to face and tell them what has been on my mind and in my heart for the last two weeks, how I have struggled to keep my shit together and not go off my brain at some people.It was nice to be able to discuss things that have hurt me deeply with someone who understands the whole situation not just my part. It's not that I dont have an amazing support network, I do. I am so grateful to have such wonderful and supportive frienmily. Believe me when I say that if I didnt have them I dont think I wouldve made it through the first 24 hours let alone 2 months. There are no words that can express how much I love and thank you for being who you are and listening to my crazy rants, holding my hand on the hard days and cheering me on  on the great days... .
SIL left last night and even at the best of times I'm not the best at goodbyes (ask anyone in my family or even my frienmily I really should invest in kleenex lol). As much as I love it here in my little piece of paradise with my beautiful frienmily, I miss the closeness of family.  My next family count down has started and at this moment stands at 1 month and 10 days. At the rate time is passing it will come and go in no time especially seeing that I'm not extremely excited about the occasion. For those of you who know what I am talking about dont you dare judge me, it is ok for you to be fine and dandy with it you have all had time to adjust to this and get to know each other. I havent. It's not that i'm unhappy, quite the opposite I am so happy that they have each other its just one of those things. 
Anyway all that said and done I'm sure that it will be a beautiful occasion and I will be happy to meet my new family members as well as see the old....

Tomorrow sees the beginning of week 3 of the Body transformation challenge. I'm looking forward to it although I do hope my legs are feeling better before my session. I ran 4ks in 32 minutes today. My average pace was 7:59/km and my best was 6:25/km. With any luck next Sunday I will smash my 2010 time of 31 minutes even if its only by a minute... Fingers crossed!!!
I have had an ok week foodwise. As I have spent two days in the dentist I have had more liquid meals then solid but the way I see it is at least I'm still putting some sort of fuel into my body... 
I tried out omelettes with chicken cheese and shallots on Friday morning and I absolutely LOVED IT! I'm going to go prep for tomorrow morning so I can have some more!! I'm trying to figure out the best way to prep so that I can have them for breakfast more then once or twice a week... Might have to make them for breakfast on days I close and start late... mmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
I will be doing a post about meeting Heston Blumenthal  on Friday as soon as the photos get uploaded... I have to say it was a great experience one that I will always remember!  I also want to do a shout out  to one of my family friends Shiraz. Shiraz has done an absolutely amazing job of getting halfway to her goal weight with no trainer just herself, a good eating plan and the gym. I'm so proud of you Shiraz you are doing such an awesome job and I look forward to seeing you when I come home! Maybe we could do a bikini run around GP? ;)
Anyways I best be off, I've got food to prep and dishes to wash. Hope everyone is well! xsx