A bit of a personal post....

Trying to beat my misery,Don't wanna go across the sea,
And if I could take you everywhere,There'd be no cause for my despair,
And I know we won't touch for months,And your smell will evade me,
But our love could survive a war,Without the slightest sore,
I know you suffer for my art,Always pulling us apart,
Your forever in my brain,Even when I cause you pain,
And I know I can't taste your skin,With an ocean between us,
But our love is a dinosaur, Hear it roar -Dinosaur Kisschasy

 I thought I'd have a little vent instead of smiling and pretending that all is wonderful in the world because while it is every other day today isnt one of those days.... So for the first time in just over two months I had a mini meltdown for no good reason... Well it wasnt for no good reason, I just let the feeling of loneliness wash over me and win. (BIG mistake)
People have been telling me that I'm brave and strong but if thats the case then can someone please explain why I sat on the floor of my shower this morning and cried like a little kid or why this afternoon I curled up in my bed and bawled like nothing else? Doesnt seem too brave or strong to me... 
I guess what set it off was having an absolutely amazing weekend with my sister in law. We are quite close, I actually consider her MY sister and not DH's. It's been the first time I have been around family since he left and it just felt so good to be around someone who I didnt have to wear my mask for. It was nice to be able to talk to someone face to face and tell them what has been on my mind and in my heart for the last two weeks, how I have struggled to keep my shit together and not go off my brain at some people.It was nice to be able to discuss things that have hurt me deeply with someone who understands the whole situation not just my part. It's not that I dont have an amazing support network, I do. I am so grateful to have such wonderful and supportive frienmily. Believe me when I say that if I didnt have them I dont think I wouldve made it through the first 24 hours let alone 2 months. There are no words that can express how much I love and thank you for being who you are and listening to my crazy rants, holding my hand on the hard days and cheering me on  on the great days... .
SIL left last night and even at the best of times I'm not the best at goodbyes (ask anyone in my family or even my frienmily I really should invest in kleenex lol). As much as I love it here in my little piece of paradise with my beautiful frienmily, I miss the closeness of family.  My next family count down has started and at this moment stands at 1 month and 10 days. At the rate time is passing it will come and go in no time especially seeing that I'm not extremely excited about the occasion. For those of you who know what I am talking about dont you dare judge me, it is ok for you to be fine and dandy with it you have all had time to adjust to this and get to know each other. I havent. It's not that i'm unhappy, quite the opposite I am so happy that they have each other its just one of those things. 
Anyway all that said and done I'm sure that it will be a beautiful occasion and I will be happy to meet my new family members as well as see the old....

Tomorrow sees the beginning of week 3 of the Body transformation challenge. I'm looking forward to it although I do hope my legs are feeling better before my session. I ran 4ks in 32 minutes today. My average pace was 7:59/km and my best was 6:25/km. With any luck next Sunday I will smash my 2010 time of 31 minutes even if its only by a minute... Fingers crossed!!!
I have had an ok week foodwise. As I have spent two days in the dentist I have had more liquid meals then solid but the way I see it is at least I'm still putting some sort of fuel into my body... 
I tried out omelettes with chicken cheese and shallots on Friday morning and I absolutely LOVED IT! I'm going to go prep for tomorrow morning so I can have some more!! I'm trying to figure out the best way to prep so that I can have them for breakfast more then once or twice a week... Might have to make them for breakfast on days I close and start late... mmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
I will be doing a post about meeting Heston Blumenthal  on Friday as soon as the photos get uploaded... I have to say it was a great experience one that I will always remember!  I also want to do a shout out  to one of my family friends Shiraz. Shiraz has done an absolutely amazing job of getting halfway to her goal weight with no trainer just herself, a good eating plan and the gym. I'm so proud of you Shiraz you are doing such an awesome job and I look forward to seeing you when I come home! Maybe we could do a bikini run around GP? ;)
Anyways I best be off, I've got food to prep and dishes to wash. Hope everyone is well! xsx